A Messy Start

It is Dumpster Fire, Then We Added Dogs

Not your usual sort of first Blog post.

In memory of Haley Paisley. Climbing mountains, Destroying Mice, Riding four wheelers, and Ruling our Home. Oct. 17, 2007-Dec. 28, 2025

So we begin…. Hopefully I am not so bad at this I get kicked off the internet for being a rambling idiot. I think you have figured it out, my name is R.J. and I am a bit of a sarcastic asshole. I want to start off by apologizing if my 1st post is a little bland and sad. My NHH’s (Non Horse Husband) 18 year old soul dog crossed the rainbow bridge on December twenty eighth. She was an extraordinary, bossy, pain in the ass, that we loved SO much. I didn’t get 18 years with her. But she stole a piece of me. Most likely because we had a lot in common. She was bitchy, didn’t like to be touched, and the only time she was “sweet” was when she was being fed. I remember when her dad and I first started dating, she had been really sick before we met, but had miraculously made a recovery (something about that dog that happened every few months, OMG this is it! Then she would just bounce back) he had said to me "I asked her to hold on until I meet someone. She had to meet you". I remember thinking "cool" and looking at this old, bitchy dog and with my powers of telepathy, telling her "I will never get attached to you". I had lost my soul dog 2 years ago December 22nd, and I did not have it in me to do it again... Well. It took a total of 8 days for Haley to own me. No, not just helping out with her care. OWN MY ASS! So my first post is going to be her “Memorial Story”. Before you roll your eyes and think “not another sob story about how their dog was the best”, it is far from that… But she was the best, so shut it, and read. Even though we mourn her, and will always do so. Yup, we ARE those people that love our dogs more than ourselves. Even though I have had to take cry breaks while writing this, she deserves celebration. It's not just because I am so heartbroken I can’t think of anything to write about at this time. It’s not writer's block. It’s the silence left by that small dictator, who ran this house. I am so used to arguing with her about what time meals are (she always won), while attempting to write. I don’t know how to do it without her indignant huffs, bullying me into being of service to her. She kept me irritated, which kept me sharp and on my game, handing out butt hurt like it never got me punched in the mouth before. So I am going to write about her, because she earned that right after 18 years of putting up with humans… Plus it just might piss me off enough to write something that could actually hurt feelings, which is kind of my thing. But here is the real reason why she should be celebrated….

NHH had her his entire adult life. He chose her because she had an attitude and she bit his ex wife on the ear the day they met her at the pound. Yes, they were still married at the time, and yes, he’s an asshole, but he’s not an intentional asshole. He’s just too blunt and honest. (Unless we have an argument, then he says things for effect. So, yeah. Sometimes an intentional asshole.) Albeit a good quality to have. It has almost gotten him hit with a few flying projectiles. He just doesn’t have that filter that says “I need to say this in a polite way”. He’s only got the “I think it this way, so I say it this way, but why are you mad now” way. Haley was there for almost everything. The only time they were ever apart, was when he went to Antarctica. He worked on a set for BBC’s Frozen Planet Summer episode, about Adélie penguins. They traveled everywhere together. Ice, and rock climbing. Yes, Haley did some climbing herself. Photos in The Rainbow Bridge gallery. They camped 100’s of miles away from civilization… For fun! Hippie. They lived in Hawaii, where she would take off in the water, with sharks, chasing them, fish and a death wish apparently. Yeah, she was insane. So many times he gave her up for dead. She would just follow them until she was out of sight. I don’t care who you are, you are not jumping into shark infested waters to retrieve your nutcase dog, so don’t say you would, I call your bluff. Swim bitch. He would sit, wait and worry of course, and somehow, she would appear, 2/3 hours later (not even exaggerating a little, it would be hours), worry in her eyes that said “I F**ked up”, almost sinking, but not quite, finally making it to shore.

She was a rotten puppy and teenager. Feral, Destructive, and stubborn… Actually Feral and stubborn never left. From her first breath to her last, she had a will to see more, explore more, and rule more peasants than I had ever seen before in my life and most likely will never see again. On the morning of the day she passed, she was asking for a bike ride in between horrific seizures. Not only did she live through them, she was fighting her way onto her feet and asking for a meal in less then 10 minutes. (Before you worry that we were letting her suffer through those seizures, they started in the night, and progressively got worse and we had a vet come that day. That beautiful, heartbreaking moment is coming in the story) She was my alarm clock for everything. She was my “dinner” reminder. She was a “picky” eater, (Not really, she was just an asshole. She would hate what you fed her yesterday, but love it tomorrow. Every night would be a 3 meal taste test. We have 2 other dogs and they lived off her rejection meals. I ended up trying what we started calling “Musical Bowls”. Where I would have 2 different meals prepared, and I would set the first down. Nope. I would put the second dinner down. Nope. I would put the first dinner back down. That bitch! That was the meal that made the cut. She was her dads “ride the bike, water the plants” reminder. He would take her for rides in a cart he got her that attached to the back. She loved to surf in it. Even on her last ride, she was weak, but she surfed. (Video on TikTok “@Olddognewtricks”. Photos in “Rainbow Bridge” Gallery). She was her sibling's referee. They are German Short Haired pointers that run at Mach speed WTF and would miss her by inches, or graze her. It would piss her off and she would yell at them. If they were having fun. It would piss her off. She was a therapist to everyone. Her dad would tell her about his day. I would do the same. You could feel that she had that “Put your big girl pants on, deal with it, do as I say, not as I did and leave me the hell alone...unless you have my dinner ready” style of advice. You know the one. The Restaurant Dishwasher Therapist style (anyone who has ever worked in the restaurant industry or seen the movie “Waiting” will get that reference).

It took me days to write any of this. I had planned on having a post ready for the day the website launched and then she went downhill fast. All of our time was spent on her. Then our heartbreak was just too much. Is still too much. I couldn’t get anything to work. Nothing sounded appropriate with her not under my feet, doing her indignant huff, demanding my service to her. I sit here in tears as I write this last bit. Don’t feel sorry for me. It is just what it is. So here goes…The night of 27th she had started having seizures and accidents. She had seizures in the past, but they were mild, and because of her heart failure. Heart failure that she took meds for, and thrived with. These seizures were scary, long and painful. Every time we would think “this is the one”. Every time she would come out of it and within minutes she would demand to be on the move. The morning of the 28th we had been reaching out to vets with no luck. I was looking up something and found a vet that did home visits for, well…you know. That was perfect! Haley hated going to the vet. Hated it so much she would shake and express anal glands everywhere! I have to say we could not have asked for a better person to have been there with us to send Haley off. We called Pet Passages, and spoke with who I believe was her assistant, Justine. Who was so kind and compassionate, and set it all up. They would be there in a few short hours.

We moved her outside, under some shade where she loved to be and I left her dad to have time with her. Laying down with her. Holding her and having their daily talk. Dr. Abby was there when she said she would be. Another compassionate, empathetic, beautiful soul. I immediately liked her and hated seeing her arrive. When she said she was on her way, it took everything in me to say “Never Mind, we don’t need you"! But Haley just had what would be her final seizure. I was pretty sure it caused a stroke. She was still alert, but had no more fight. After Dr. Abby got set up, he went to get out of her way and she said “you are fine where you are dad, you can keep holding her”. I will forever love that woman for allowing him to have that final last with Haley. She explained what she would do. Gave Haley some anxiety meds and let us have our last moments with her. In true Haley form, when Dr. Abby touched her foot, Haley somehow gave a kick at her. "Don’t touch my foot!" It was something she would do before, but hadn't since she got sick. First laugh through the tears. Haley was so relaxed and so peaceful finally. It was so painful and such a relief to see her get some peace after those last 2 days before it was her time. She started snoring. We got our final laugh with Miss Haley Paisley. Then while her dad held her, giving her kisses, his parents and I told her it was ok and we loved her, she took her last breath. It feels like there should be more, but that was it. She got a send off she deserved. Outside, in the sunshine, with the people that loved her most. It was a horrible, beautiful moment.

I know some may think the details morbid. And that I overshared. But every moment that was detailed was an important one, maybe not for you, but for us. I will never have the right words or enough pages to explain the personality she had and the life that dog lived. I can never make anyone feel what we felt for her, or understand how special she really was. And that is hard for us. But we can talk about her. And by doing that she still lives. Still has those adventures. Still is an EPIC asshole that we love. It is now New Year's Eve and midnight is approaching fast. Here's to you Haley Paisley. Or what I liked to call you, Hells Bells. Cheers!

If you’re worried I am always so sappy and, sappy, no, emotional, Hell yes! I am who I am. But I do get meaner, way more sarcastic and funnier… according to NHH. Until next time, my advice for the day… For the men: If you think it would be fun to catch yourself a horse girl, don’t be an idiot. She will never have time for you. She will love her dog and horse more. You will bitch, complain and cry. And she will leave you. For the women: Don’t date horse guys!!! They are just gross. You will catch something. Until next time. R.J.